I saw… Count Dracula… with red light of triumph in his eyes, and with a smile that Judas in hell might be proud of — Jonathan Harker’s Journal, Dracula, Chapter 4
In November of 1929 a young Scottish woman by the name of Mary Anne Macleod embarked on a journey across the Atlantic that was to shape the history of not only her own life, but that of the entire country she was heading for, America.
The 17 year old – who at the time worked as a maid – climbed aboard the ship SS Transylvania in the port of Glasgow, Scotland, with New York its final destination.
Little did the young woman know that, on boarding a sea-going vessel bearing a name shared with that of the mountainous Romanian region home to the legend of Count Dracula, she too would give birth to a blood sucking vampire, one who would, against all odds, defeat Hillary Clinton in the 2016 US Presidential election.
In fact, the resemblances between the president and the antagonist of Bram Stoker’s 1897 Gothic horror novel are nothing short of remarkable, as if Donald Trump wanted to mirror himself on a man who famously couldn’t be seen in front of the item of said item of furniture.
Believed to have been inspired by the 15th-century Wallachian Prince Vlad III the Impaler, the character of Dracula is considered to be both the prototypical and the archetypal vampire in subsequent works of fiction 1897 forwards.
Here are eleven reasons why the two are on the same page, one bathed in blood and heady in thirst and appetite for power that runs a strong red.
1 – LIKE TRUMP, DRACULA ACTS ON A LONG-CONTEMPLATED PLAN FOR WORLD DOMINATION
Worringly, he infiltrates London to begin his reign of terror. Will Theresa May become his Jonathan Harker, charmed by his cordiality to learn as much as possible about England?
2 – LIKE TRUMP, DRACULA IS INTO REAL ESTATE
In the novel, Dracula is discovered to have purchased multiple real estate properties ‘over the counter’ throughout the North, South, East and West sides of London under the alias ‘Count De Ville’. While Trump’s portfolio of property is self-proclaimed as “the world’s only global luxury real-estate super-brand.”
3 – LIKE TRUMP, DRACULA DONS A MASK OF CORDIALITY BUT OFTEN FLIES INTO FITS OF RAGE WHEN HIS PLANS ARE FRUSTRATED
When the three vampire women who live in his castle attempt to seduce Jonathan Harker, Dracula physically assaults one and ferociously berates them for their insubordination. He then relents and talks to them more kindly, telling them that he does indeed love each of them. Trump has faced a number of allegations of misconduct towards women (none of which have been substantiated).
4 – LIKE TRUMP, DRACULA USED THREE WOMEN IN HIS LIFE FOR HIS OWN ‘BENEFIT’
In the novel, Dracula has lived for several centuries in his castle with three terrifyingly beautiful female vampires beside him. Trump is three marriages in.
5 – LIKE TRUMP, DRACULA IS PROUD OF HIS HERITAGE
Trump built his billion dollar golf course in Aberdeenshire, Scotland, in honour of his family ties to the country. However, Dracula proclaims his pride on how his Szekely people are infused with the ‘blood of warriors. He was himself a soldier, leading troops against the Turks across the Danube. Trump went to New York Military Academy.
6 – LIKE TRUMP, DRACULA HAS AN APPRECIATION FOR ARCHITECTURE
Trump loves his Trump Tower on Fifth Avenue. Meanwhile, when purchasing a home Dracula prefers them to be aged, saying “A new home would kill me”, and that to make a new home habitable to him would take a century – How is Trump taking to living in The White House – a building built between 1792 and 1800? Not very well given the time he spends at Mar-a-Lago.
7 – LIKE TRUMP, DRACULA IS IMMUNE TO CONVENTIONAL MEANS OF ATTACK
In the book, a sailor tries to stab Dracula in the back with a knife, but the blade goes through his body as though it is air. Similar, I guess, to Trump with the many misconduct allegations levelled against him and his team.
8 – LIKE TRUMP, DRACULA CAN COMMAND ANIMALS SUCH AS RATS, OWLS, BATS AND FOXES AND CAN ALSO MANIPULATE THE WEATHER
Also moths and wolves, animals with a similar level of political knowledge to Trump’s own supporters. As for the weather, within his range, Dracula is able to direct the elements, such as storms, fog and mist. A bit like Trump and the media.
9 – LIKE TRUMP, DRACULA HYPNOTISES THOSE WHO HE ‘BITES’
All who die by Dracula’s hand may reanimate and do his bidding, a bit like Trump’s inner circle. Also, Trump hypnotises people with his rhetoric and then his supporters ‘bite’ others in the form of racially abusing them.
10 – LIKE TRUMP, DRACULA SUFFERS FROM MALIGNANT NARCISSISM
Disbelief is the most dangerous aspect of Malignant Narcissism. Early in the republican campaign, Trump was dismissed as a non-viable candidate partly because he is so outrageous, partly because of our disbelief that he could ever win, the same problem that is a main theme in the fictional story of Dracula. With more success and no deterrents, they get stronger before we comprehend what is at stake. Stake, get it?
11 – LIKE TRUMP, DRACULA DOESN’T LIKE INTERFERENCE IN HIS AFFAIRS
One of the main reasons for Dracula’s ability to morph into different creatures, alongside his propensity to keep himself to himself in his castle away from praying eyes was noted as his ‘fear of discovery and interference.’ A fear Trump hisself has manifested with respect to CIA conclusions that Putin engineered his electoral victory, alongside his outright hatred of some sectors of the US press and their role as political watchdog.
And on a final note, on May 26th last year Trump topped a list of the world’s Top Ten vampires as part of a poll for “World Dracula Day”. The commemorative day marks the date the first copy of Bram Stoker’s novel was published in 1897. Russian President Vladimir Putin came second.